Tips for self-expression
Online dating is an area in itself - comparable to fishing. Pulling the right fish ashore requires good preparation, care and patience. Before we dive deep into the dating lake, let's get to the heart of the matter first - and that's you . You and your bait. Maybe you don't like being in focus because it makes you vulnerable and vulnerable. Perhaps you would like to avoid the digital presence in the spotlight like the vampire avoids garlic. The consumption of the stinking bulb is proven to be good for the heart. And because this is about matters of the heart, we cannot avoid a confrontation. So let's face the problem of self-staging and squeeze the aioli bomb out to the last drop. This is the only way to preserve the aromatic essence of your personality - well, the comparison is limp ... and stinks. After all, the fish must like the bait.
Perhaps fear of the limelight isn't the problem at all. The presentation may be lacking. Are the long-awaited contact requests missing? Is the inbox low? Then keep working on your profile. It is possible that the photo was chosen badly, your motto was not meaningful enough or the description was too vague. Do I hear nervous sliding around on the chairs and embarrassed clearing of my throat? In the last row a hand is hesitantly raised: “ But how can I specifically improve my chances of online dating?” It's good that you ask. That’s why we’re here. Let's start with the most obvious - the profile photo.
What should the profile picture look like?
We humans are superficial pigs - all of them. Why else should platforms like Blaze (English for "tinder") conquer the single world in an all-devouring, infernal conflagration? Here the initiation of a Dating Tips is reduced to the essentials. All it takes is a picture, a name and the age. Whether I swipe the contact on the smartphone display with my finger to the right (* drooling "Let's meet - now.") Or to the left (Dislike! Dislike!), The photo primarily decides. The success of the app speaks for itself. Photos create relationships - or in the case of Blaze: maybe even kids.
With the profile photo you want to attract the right fish to land. The emphasis is on "fitting". Anyone who, as a proven animal hater, can be photographed smiling panicking next to a dog, will primarily receive answers from dog owners or nature lovers. You casually let yourself be photographed with a newspaper under your arm, even though you only use the sheet to lay out the bottom of your organic trash can? You will attract people who may want to talk to you about the latest happenings - with you. Wrong signals attract wrong fish. So only upload photos that come across as natural and "true to the original" . While we're on the subject, let's get to the use of Photoshop.
Photoshop - digital pimple expression allowed?
I could now say: cheating is not an option. But the various automatic settings of a camera are already cheating: They create a softer light, a more pleasant focus and remove ugly, red monster eyes. But what about Photoshop ? Do what you can not resist. A blooming pimple can be digitally erased - otherwise it is not there, but only gives itself the honor for a short time. However, wrinkles are actually part of the daily appearance and can remain where they are.
Girls: You should refrain from transforming your head of hair into a flowing Shakira mane. It's also not helpful to go from size 42 to a hunger hook with a wasp waist. You are great as you are - even without a mop on your head or size zero.
Guys: Leave your belly as it is. You are connoisseurs and enjoy having a beer. Why not? Above all, you should refrain from digitally transforming your little pelvis into a magnificent six-pack or even a twelve-pack. Leave such marvels to the professional graphic designer or play sports.
Anyone who expects a skinny Shakira or a pumped up Tim Wiese lookalike on their first Dating Tips will be disappointed when they see you. The first meeting may be overshadowed by a dull sense of disillusionment . Not a good start.
Should you prefer a professional photo or a snapshot when it comes to self-expression? Each his own. But don't forget: You don't want to apply for a job, you want to meet your future favorite person. An impromptu photo taken by your buddy or best friend is likely to capture your temperament and character better than a fake pose. The photo should also have been taken promptly . A picture that shows you slim and slim, but taken ten years ago on your last school trip, only leads to confusion.
Your photo is your figurehead and the number 1 criterion for finding a partner via online dating. So don't just upload any picture at random, but take a critical look at your profile photo. Do you come across as you really are on the snapshot?
Profile photo tips in brief
- Choose your photo carefully - it's the number 1 criterion.
- Show yourself natural and "true to the original"
- Refraining from excessive Photoshop excesses / minor cosmetic surgery is allowed
- Rely on spontaneous snapshots and avoid artificial photos
- Take a recent photo
Creation of the profile - Fair of half-truths?
Your profile photo made one of the fish splash around near the bait. Now it's time to keep calm. You don't want to scare away the premium salmon with a chilling profile description. In the tips for the profile photo, we learned that a natural self-expression can make the search for the right partner much easier. In order for the bottlenose dolphin to get into the net for us, we should also pursue the honest strategy in further profile design.
It starts with the choice of a suitable nickname . Choose a pseudonym that suits you and highlights your personality. I don't mean names like "Julia87", "Steffen1991" or "Waage29J". Names, signs of the zodiac, birth cohorts and age information are individual, but anything but original. Nicknames that create negative vibes should also be avoided. “LostHope93”, “Kai_Nermagmich”, “Scarce Goods”, “EpicFail”, “Wuchtbrumme99” or “Rosentot” sound great, but perhaps scare off potential fish. Stay positive. Courage to leave a gap. Find a creative, unique, and appropriate pseudonym . Are you a cineast? How about "HollyGolightly", "Padmé_Amidala", "Snake-Plissken" or "Lebowski"? Are you addicted to fantasy literature? Maybe the names "Khaleesi", "Jaqen H'ghar", "Galadriel" or "Eragon" would be something for you. Orient yourself to your quirks, your hobbies and passions, then you can't go wrong. If the fish can do something with your nickname, so much the better. And you give him a stylish start into the conversation. When it comes to finding a name, it's okay to go overboard. Dare to be original, quick-witted and snappy . In the last row another hand hesitantly announces: “What about: meat whip?” Place a seat, six!
Many dating platforms as HeartScout02 (formerly gayscout) or Elite partner offer the option of a personal motto. This way attitudes to life, motto and maxim can be brought to the point in a nutshell. If you want to stand out, you should avoid life mottos such as “Carpe Diem.”, “No risk, no fun!” Or “Don't dream your life, live your dreams”. Take your time and choose a suitable saying. Quotation databases , favorite films or song lyrics can help here.
Let's get to the actual information in your profile description . In the “Profession” selection field, you are welcome to write “Professional surfer”, “Sports director”, “Nobel laureate in literature” or “Victoria's Hush Model”, if that's the truth. Whispers will be exposed sooner or later - be it on the first Dating Tips or when your future sweetheart begs you for backstage tickets for the next lingerie show. The information should generally be answered honestly . Before you fool, say nothing at all. But still make sure that your profile reveals at least something about you.
That brings us to the amount of information . Too little information says nothing about you. However, too much information is not only sensitive for reasons of privacy and data protection. Your counterpart does not have to find out before the first contact that your ex cheated on you with the yoga teacher or that you, as a seasoned guy, have to cry every time the new iPhone advertisement runs on TV - not because of the technical novelty, but because of the inspiring little film. Anyone who already knows everything about you in the profile description has no more reason to write to you. Instead, create incentives and make your counterpart curious . Work out your individual pages. It may well be that your hobbies are “reading, cycling and listening to music” - but they are everyone else's hobbies too. If you need help filling out the form, ask your friends. The buddies or your girls can surely tell you what is so special about you. You are special - only the premium salmon has to understand that. Therefore, you should definitely write down your characteristics, peculiarities or maybe even sympathetic quirks - and (that's the art) convey them in an original way.
Your profile should be constantly revised, so stay tuned . Not only because personal information may change over time, but also to show presence. Anyone who created their profile on a sleepless night and in the alcoholic swamp of desperation may have easily gone overboard with the information. A Prosecco or a beer might even inspire you when you fill out the digital profile. Just don't overdo it and make sure you don't come across as overly melancholy or (depending on your mood) megalomaniac. Before you publish your profile, sleep on it again for a night and give it to someone close to you, honest skin, to read it again.
Profile design tips in brief
- Nickname: creative, original and appropriate
- Motto: short, crisp and individual
- Continuously revise and proofread your profile
- Answer honestly
- Not too much information, but not too little either
- Arouse curiosity and create incentives
- Highlight personality (ask friends)
Tips for first contact
Anyone who puts their entire profile together individually, honestly and “true to the original” lays the foundation for successful online dating. At best, your dazzling personality will now attract swarms of ravenous singles who can't wait to get to know you better. Now it's getting serious. We dedicate ourselves to the high art of conversation. Care. Many small faux pas, but also stubborn ropes and nasty trap doors can lurk here.
Contacting us - who takes the first step?
We have given your fishing lure colorful feathers, sparkling metal plates and the brightest neon colors. If you are more of a level-headed type, you have to wait and see and drink “Angler Muck” , grogg or tea. Sooner or later the premium salmon will take a bite and write to you. But don't wait too long. Anyone who blindly trusts that a successful profile is sufficient to find the right partner may wait until Saint Never's Day. Persevering in shock may work with the flat flounder. But you can only find great love if Fortuna and all the fishing luck in the world are on your side. If, as a level-headed type, you would rather be patient, set a deadline beforehand as to when you will be active.
Daring and gripping types, if they have visual contact with a suitable fish, they can immediately take action themselves and dive into the cold water at lightning speed, armed with a landing net. Your activism is absolutely commendable. Just be careful not to land a belly smack. The first contact does not want to be rushed. A bad pick-up will put most singles on the run.
Online dating made easy
From choosing the profile photo and the first message to the Dating Tips: In the 160-minute video course and in the eBook "From Chat to Dating Tips", Alexander T. Cramer explains to you how you can be successful in online dating.
Contact - How do I start a flirt?
The willingness to take risks and spontaneity pay off in most cases. A rash and daring contact can quickly come across as clumsy and arrogant. Avoid cheap run-of-the-mill pick-up lines like "Your father must have been a thief because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes." Or "Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?" Such slogans are worse than flat jokes, since they can't even make most singles smile - including silly jokes.
You should also steer clear of meaningless, too vague first messages . A contact like “Hello! Nice profile! Get in touch. LG “is well meant and nicely written. Such messages hardly stand out from the other 30 almost identical emails, which is why most of them are unfortunately likely to end up in digital paper garbage unanswered. A request like “Hi! Dating Tips? ”Says nothing about you and could definitely use a personal touch. Over-the-top and confused approaches stand out from the monotony of the current news, but can quickly drift into the grotesque: “Huhu and cuckoo! LOL! I also really like dogs - like you! Coincidence, right? Have three boobs. But only has to go for a walk with one of them! Haha! ROFL! Bye, your juicy jumping jack. ”Such a message is more likely to cause your counterpart to shake their heads and make them hope that you will eventually get the help you need.
We learned how not to do it. So how can I contact singles in style? It works in a similar way to a job interview. Let the other person understand that you have dealt with them and know the company's history: “Hello Khaleesi! In your photos I saw that you were diving in the Mediterranean. ”. Show that you would be a perfect fit - on a personal level as well as in the job profile: "I would also like to go snorkeling again." Mention your strengths and work out peculiarities : "Because I do a lot of voluntary work at the animal shelter at the moment, I hardly ever travel." Ask a few questions yourself , create incentives for feedback and show initiative : "You live in Neustadt? I know a great shop for diving equipment only half an hour away from you! In warehouse sales, branded goods are sold at bargain prices. I would tell you which backyard the shop is in when you get back to us. ”So you gave your counterpart a grateful start to the conversation . Another question from the last row: “What if I don't dive at all?” Heaven again. "You! Go into the corner and count to 100. "
Tips for getting in touch shortly
- After designing the profile: wait (set a deadline, then take action yourself.)
At first contact:
- No cheap pick-up lines
- Not a meaningless, too brief message
- No over-the-top, confused email
How to do it right:
- Respond to profile
- Mention similarities
- Allow positive characteristics to flow into it
- Asking questions yourself and providing incentives for feedback
- Show initiative and interest
Tips for getting to know each other
Getting into the conversation right is half the battle. The other half has to be earned through a skilled conversation. So how do you avoid that the small talk does not get lost in the empty phrase-like sand and how do you keep the interest going? Let's come to the last point of the "Online Dating Guide" - getting to know each other.
The further course of the conversation
Tit for tat. Anyone who only answers briefly and succinctly to questions and shows no real interest in the person will hardly be able to reap storms of enthusiasm from their counterpart or expect autobiographical mail novels. If you're curious and want to know more about the fish, show it off and ask questions . Avoid cross-examining the object of desire, however. This gives rise to unsightly associations of shady stalkers.
Has the conversation been babbling for what feels like an eternity without any appreciable rapprochement? Now you have to be careful and counter-steer so that you are not labeled as a nice friend in the long term and stay in the "Friendzone" as a permanent guest. Once you have been caught in the doldrums, it is difficult to maneuver the boat back into the right fairway. In that case, you should be more specific and show amorous, clear interest . Clear the sails and raise the anchors. Now it's getting stormy.
Flirt online properly - but how?
Everyone likes to hear compliments. You are certainly no exception. But it all depends on the right packaging. Would you buy french fries floating in a carpet of cooking oil an inch thick? No? Then don't wear it too thick and leave out greasy, tan expressions of love - unless you're flirting with a Shakespeare fanatic. Would you put a peeled banana in your shopping basket? If so, then you're the quick kind. However, the majority of people cannot cope with the fact that bare facts are presented to them at the beginning of the process of getting to know each other. So don't go too fast by inviting your counterpart to do some mess - especially not if you've just waited in the “friend zone”. If you romp around on a unique fling portal, things will of course be different.
Better to play with small, cheeky ambiguities. Be witty while flirting and spice up the conversation with a mischievous wink. Nothing is more attractive than humor . But be careful with sarcasm and irony - especially in writing. When asked about your job, you shouldn't necessarily answer "unemployed exhibitionist" - unless you are sure that the person you are speaking to understands you correctly.
When should I meet for the first Dating Tips?
When should you encourage the first Dating Tips ? There is no rule of thumb here. In general, however, it can be said that typing back and forth for a long time can have a negative effect. So when should you go out on a first Dating Tips? The answer: Better earlier than late. Why? Because expectations can be increased immeasurably. Why else are stars like Justin Bieber followed by billions of screaming, love-drunk and advice-resistant fans ? Because they have never hung out with him in the park and debated the big questions in the world. Maybe Justin Bieber is stupid as bread. Or maybe he is a little Einstein (attention! Irony in writing). Most of his fans will never know. And so the fan community quite rightly calls itself the "Belieber" based on "Believer" or believers. To believe is not to know. Those who only write back and forth with their counterparts for months without ever meeting them in person may tend to be mystified . In the end, you may be disappointed because you imagined your flirt partner to be completely different in kind.
Another question from the last row: "Is Justin Bieber really as smart as Albert Einstein?" Oh my goodness ... "You over there. Watch out, I'll just go outside and think about your question, okay? * clack * creak * rum "AAAAARGH!"
Tips for getting to know each other in brief
- Show clear interest (otherwise the "friend zone" threatens).
- Compliment the other person (not too pompous, not too aggressive).
- Be witty and humorous (be careful with irony and sarcasm).
- First Dating Tips: better early than late.
Well prepared? We can start now.
With our "Online Dating Guide" we have clarified the most important aspects of profile design, the first contact and getting to know each other. Congratulations! The certificate for participation in the online seminar will be sent to you by post (irony ... writing ... you understand). Maybe you still have one or the other question unanswered. No problem, I'll give you a comprehensive answer right now: Trust yourself and everything will be fine. Be a self-lover and fish your premium salmon. Maybe you're pulling ashore a sprat, maybe a monkfish, maybe an old boot. The main thing is that it suits you . And if it doesn't fit, that's not the end of the world either. Take the catch off the hook, throw it back into the water, and fish a new one. There's a fish out there for everyone. For you too, you tormentor in the back row. Holy salvation.