The pulse is at 180, you smell of sweat, you smile stupidly and can't get a word out - for shy people, the first Dating Tips is worse than the oral Abitur exam, the job interview, the doctoral defense or the first parachute jump.
This is not a rare problem: Almost every second German suffers from shyness, reports "Psychologie heute", which once devoted an entire issue to the subject. For many, shyness becomes a real burden. While they appeared calm on the outside, a storm of emotions raged inside, explains socio-psychologist Philip Zimbardo of "Psychologie heute". They constantly watch themselves, compare and censor themselves. You always expect the worst.
Emotions are good, but such a decisive battle is probably not the best prerequisite for a successful Dating Tips. Out of desperation, many are looking for supposed solutions. Like Raj from the Big Bang Theory series. He cannot talk to women unless he drinks courage with alcohol. Those for whom alcohol is not a solution tend to avoid such unpleasant situations or pretend to be. Some completely give up hope of finding their dream partner.
First of all, nervousness before the first Dating Tips is quite normal. You want to make a good impression, not do anything wrong, not throw glasses off the table, come from the toilet with your pants closed and, at best, even be liked.
Such fears do not make getting to know each other easy, but they are not an obstacle. We'll reveal ways you can really get through the first Dating Tips without resorting to drugs - except maybe coffee.
No more shyness!
In the 30-day online seminar "Overcoming Shyness" from life coach and mental trainer Christoph Ulrich Mayer, you will find out how you can overcome insecurities and strengthen your self-confidence in the long term.
10 tips against your first Dating Tips shyness
- Say goodbye to the thought that you have to please the other person. If you don't like you the way you are and can't deal with nervousness, you might not be the right person for you.
- Shy people can mistakenly come across as arrogant or disinterested. Speak openly about your nervousness to avoid this. Maybe you feel more secure when it's out.
- Someone who says little can also come across as a good listener. Lucky!
- Are you afraid that you can't think of a topic to talk about? Before the Dating Tips, think about what you want to talk about. It doesn't have to be that difficult, just think about what is important to you. Then a conversation often develops by itself. It doesn't have to be the weather ...
- Find the right meeting point. You can avoid the embarrassing silence at dinner by getting together for an activity. You can relax and be silent at the movie, despair together at the cooking class and there are first contacts in the high ropes course. Find ideas for the first meeting .
- Alcohol is no solution. Of course, you don't have to go without wine on a Dating Tips, but you shouldn't use it to get some courage. This can lead to the embarrassing moments that you want to avoid.
- Deal with your shyness, psychology advises today. Ask yourself what you're actually afraid of: saying something wrong? Not to be taken seriously? To blush, to stutter, to sweat? (Good news: According to psychology, the cliché applies to only around 15 to 20 percent of those affected today.)
- Before the Dating Tips, think about successful Dating Tipss or something else pleasant to improve your mood.
- Do you find it easier to contact other people via the WWW? Basically nothing speaks against it, but you shouldn't hide yourself in the virtual world; Second Life is not a substitute for a real social life.
- For those who do not dare to speak to someone in real life in a club, on the street or in a café, dating sites can be a good alternative. Here you can make contact anonymously without actually having to face the other person for the time being. But even online, the first step is not easy for some. Which profile picture do I choose? And what should I write? Find tips for getting in touch .
- If you can't manage to overcome your shyness on your own, a flirt coach can certainly help you. In video examples, the Flirt University shows you how to successfully address women, get phone numbers from beautiful women or arrange a first Dating Tips. Book your online flirting course here.